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Title: Overwhelming Author: eckerlilas Word Count: 100… - Blaise100 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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[Feb. 28th, 2006|02:02 pm]
blaise100

blaise100

[eckerlilas]
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Title: Overwhelming
Author: eckerlilas
Word Count: 100
Characters: Blaise Zabini
Rating: Teen
Prompt: Older Women
Author’s Note: This one woke me in the middle of the night, begging to be written. This is dedicated to tamlane who I appreciate so much. I’m sorry if I don’t always show it like I should. ♥

A lithe masculine body entwined with a supple feminine one. Sweat drenched. Need palpable. Dark youth tangled desperately with aged grace.

The younger desiring to learn.
The elder learning what it is to be desired.

Gentle caresses become heated explorations. Lust abounds. The need for one another is still brazenly unrestrained. Long dark fingers ghost over pale silken skin.

Different worlds. Separate generations. Conflicting faith. The younger has none to speak of. The elder wants to forget what the word means.

Same objective. Forget. Yearn. Take. Give.

Seeking peace. Absolution. A connection. A different existence.

Ignorance is bliss.
Awareness overwhelms.
LinkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: tamlane
2006-02-28 08:28 pm (UTC)
They always strike in the middle of the night, don't they? ;)

Like I said before, I love the contrasts, and you nailed it with the last 2 sentences! (And it's Bella to me. :D)
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[User Picture]From: eckerlilas
2006-02-28 10:10 pm (UTC)
Yes, they do. I woke up with ideas just dying to escape my brain.

Thanks, love. I am really enjoying these. I'm trying to read and give feedback to everyone who posts, as well.

psst, I thought of you, and of Bella when I wrote this...

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[User Picture]From: guest_age
2006-02-28 11:55 pm (UTC)
Aw, this is soooo good Shonna! I love how you never tell us who the woman is! ♥
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[User Picture]From: eckerlilas
2006-02-28 11:59 pm (UTC)
Thanks love. I like not telling you. *grin*

Up to you.
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[User Picture]From: witchiepooh
2006-03-01 03:20 am (UTC)
That was very beautiful. In my mind, poetry. Thanks for writing it.
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[User Picture]From: eckerlilas
2006-03-01 03:34 am (UTC)
Gods, what a wonderful thing to say. *hugs*

*blushes*

No. Thank you for reading it.

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[User Picture]From: witchiepooh
2006-03-01 03:53 pm (UTC)
You're very welcome. And I meant what I wrote above, it really did feel like a poem. Lovely.
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From: cupcaked
2006-03-01 02:15 pm (UTC)
Gentle caresses become heated explorations. Lust abounds. The need for one another is still brazenly unrestrained. Long dark fingers ghost over pale silken skin.

You have a style that I would love to see in longer peice of fiction- if and when you get round to it. I can't wait to see more, Shonna. I can't believe it's taken you think long to share your talent.
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From: cupcaked
2006-03-01 02:15 pm (UTC)
Errr- this long to share your talent. Not think long. :(
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[User Picture]From: eckerlilas
2006-03-01 02:29 pm (UTC)
I knew what you meant, love *grin*
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[User Picture]From: eckerlilas
2006-03-01 02:28 pm (UTC)
*blushes profusely, again.

You like my style! *dies* You think I'm talented?!? *dies again* I'm going to love you until the end of time. ♥ I mean it.

Posting fics scares me! I never think they are very good. Even these 100 word drabbles. I know I am silly or whatever, particularly since y'all are my friends and would never be mean to me...but it's just hard for me. I am getting there. Three posts. That's good.

I have loads of ideas for longer fics. Maybe I'll move on to a ficlet or something soon. I'm just getting comfortable with the idea of posting these drabbles. And I've pimped myself on my own journal. I was scared to do that. I'm such a dork, I know.

Anyway, I appreciate you so much! *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: elanor_sarah
2006-03-01 05:32 pm (UTC)
Conflicting faith. The younger has none to speak of. The elder wants to forget what the word means.

That was it for me, that line.

I felt you weren't explaining quite, and going for eloquent language and snappy sentaces over a depth of plot, but that gave me the insight I needed, about what you were trying to achieve.

Some great contrasts, there, especially the last too lines.

I must ask? What pace were you going for, because normally short sentances seperated like that is snappy and fast, but somehow... this wasn't at all.

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[User Picture]From: eckerlilas
2006-03-01 06:27 pm (UTC)
It took me forever to write this. I had so many ideas. The drabble was intended to be poetic, really. Sort of the likes of a beautiful escape. I wanted you to feel the depth of need for each of these people. Their senses in reality are on overload, so they use one another to escape that. Needing and feeling only those specific sensations that they require of one another.

Yes, I was digging for the contrasts. I wanted you to see that these people are quite different. Yet, they need the same thing.

Pace: you are right on target. I know that usually short sentences are meant to be read in a staccato fashion. This was meant to be read as a sort of roll over your tongue, dies out at the end, sort of whisper. I hope I achieved that, at least somewhat.

So, did you like it? *grin*
Thanks for the feedback!
*hugs*
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[User Picture]From: elanor_sarah
2006-03-01 06:31 pm (UTC)
You achieved all- and yes, I did enjpy it very much *hugs*
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From: zaralya
2006-03-01 08:56 pm (UTC)
And another wonderful drabble.

And now tell me who the mysterious woman is... PLEASE! XD
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[User Picture]From: eckerlilas
2006-03-01 11:12 pm (UTC)
Hee! Thanks! ♥

Don't you have any guesses?
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From: zaralya
2006-03-02 01:05 pm (UTC)
I dunno... Narcissa maybe? Or Bella? *ponders*
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[User Picture]From: snowflake_star
2006-03-05 03:53 am (UTC)
The last two lines say it all. Awesome.
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[User Picture]From: eckerlilas
2006-03-05 05:33 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. Your thoughts are appreciated. I squee anytime I see that someone has even given a moment to read something of mine.

I really need to catch up on my reading and let others know how much I appreciate their writing as well. :D

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